A fear that will never leave me

 At the start of everyone's journey there comes a crises. A situation that is so beyond there control and damages them to their core that it fundamentally shapes them into who they will eventually become later in in life. It becomes the "thorn on the side" trope that all humans face. The past few weeks monumental shifts have happened in my life all for the better. One of which is becoming more exposed to my fears. 

The fear of being left behind and abandoned was always a thorn on my side. Being left to die in this world at an early start and never having a support group till later always wired me to being my own person, a one man army from the start. I realized this more and more from certain groups of people and individuals it becomes a reoccurring theme. 

The past month I started to let go of these grievances that I have and encountered multiple anxiety attacks from this. I became more aware each day of these evil's that hunt me. However after every fall, theres more room for victory. Big things will happen soon, plans are changing, perspectives are shifting...

An evil that follows me in my sleep. Anxiety that prevents me from eating, sleeping, functioning...The evil smiled back at me, so I smiled back.

As I woke up the sky was red...

Hajime